I was on fire
and you used me
to light your cigarette
Tag: i
I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly.
You don’t cross my mind, you live in it.
Perhaps we are just
masochists
chasing the thick aired promise
of perhaps,
the dainty threaded
whisper of chemistry.
It is not a flame and explosion,
but a subtle
slow leak
of sanity,
you and I.
Thin lipped and curled tongues
chasing the three little words
that would break my heart.
You think ‘okay, I get it, I’m prepared for the worst,’ but you hold out that small hope, see and that’s what fucks you up. That’s what kills you.
I hope the thought of me makes your skin crawl.
I pretend I don’t love it
when you hold my hand in public,
when you catch a wild hair in the net of your fingers,
when you kiss me right in front of the gas station cashier.I remember we live in a big city.
I secretly imagine the scandal we could cause
if we lived in a small town, where everyone knew your name
and your bed: how our love would spill like paint cans
across old wooden porches. It would seep
between the cracks of the floorboards,
the way I live beneath your fingernails
when you go home to her.
I poured everything I had into you and you were still empty.
We are sticking the undertow of teeth into the night as morning undresses us slowly
we kings of cosmopolitan love and
princes of nihilistic suffering
we are tragedies we wish we never spoke of
we will not be the cashed-bowl
breaking-synapse story of unreciprocated love
they are beyond us
there are many broken bedfellows to see when we lay down and love for each other.