Tag: taurus

how ur sign will die

Aries: ballin
Taurus: accidentally drank cyanide because u thought it was vodka
Gemini: murdered by pigeons
Cancer: forgot how to move and died sitting on the couch in a blanket
Leo: got into a car accident because u saw a dog
Virgo: died of sadness when ur otp didn’t work out
Libra: crushed under the same stampede of buffaloes that killed Mufasa
Scorpio: suffocated under the weight of ur own bitterness
Sagittarius: u did it for the vine
Capricorn: stepped outside and incinerated by sunlight because u hadn’t been outside in so long
Aquarius: ur moshi pet came to life and killed u for neglecting it
Pisces: choked to death on cinnamon in 2010

2015 ACCURATE Horoscopes!!

cuzimbatman0meow:

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18)

  Charming. Attractive. Popular. You gather a diverse and zany. group of friends from all walks of life. Though you’re highly social, you absolutely hate fighting. This is often at odds with you quest for justice in all aspects of your life. You believe in fairness and equality. Generally speaking, you love pets more than people.

  2015 is a year of monumental change for the better. Expect to meet an important partner in your life journey before the fourth month of the year. If you SHARE this post, three years of good luck. If you don’t, one year of bad luck. 

PISCES (February 19 to March 20)

  You’re an artist whether you know it or not. You’re an excellent lover and a loyal companion, but you’re hard to keep. At times, you trust too much and love too deeply and wind up getting hurt. Too often, you’ve scared potential mates away with the depth of your passion. Two bad things about you: You trust too many people, and you’re too smart for your own good. People say you’re eccentric, which means you’re weird in the best way possible.

  Good advice for 2015 is to choose your friends wisely. 3 years of misfortune if you don’t share this post, 2 years of good luck if you do.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19)

  Family is everything to you, and you genuinely love to give more than you love to receive. Which means (Christmas is your favorite.) Though you’re a loving person, you are absolutely not to be crossed and you genuinely enjoy arguing your point for hours. Despite your impulsivity, you are nothing if not loyal.

  2015 promises to be a year of opportunity; doors that you thought were permanently sealed will spring open throughout the year. SHARE this post for three fabulous years of good fortune in love and finance, ignore it for five years of bad luck.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20)

  Congratulations! Studies suggest that babies born in Taurus are the most attracting people on the planet. In spite of your popularity, you most enjoy being in a stable, long-term relationship. You just need to find the yin to your yang, which is no simple task. Some may see you as somewhat self-centered, but that’s just because you won’t let anything interfere with your ultimate goals. You love to press snooze as much as you love being the life of the party.

  Lay low through the winter and attend as many social gatherings as you can starting in April. By June you should meet a friend or lover who will advance you spiritually and will remain an important part of your world well beyond 2020. Share this post for 4 years of good luck, ignore it for the worst year of your life.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20)

  Your two favorite things in no particular order: Kissing and listening. You’re happiest curled up by the fire with a good book, but that doesn’t mean you’re a pushover. Geminis are particularly good at speaking their minds. No sooner do you form a thought than do you find a way to express it.

  Important: Hold your tongue in January, and wait to speak your mind in February about the issue weighing on your mind. It’ll require tremendous will-power, but it also has HUGE REWARDS. Share this post or enjoy a decade of crummy luck.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

  You are the stuff dreams are made of. Cancers are trustworthy romantics who treasure the few people they hold close to their hearts…but that’s the thing: your inner circle is SMALL. Most Cancers are picky about who they take under their wing, because once you’re part of a cancer’s inner circle, you’re there forever. People who don’t understand you will use the word “insane” to describe you, but you aren’t crazy. Or if you are…don’t worry. You’re crazy in the best way possible.

  Plan a special event – a party or vacation – in the Spring of 2015. Major tides will turn in your life in the fall, and you’ll want to be ready. SHARE this post or you’ll have a decade of dismal luck.

LEO (July 23 to August 22)

  While you’re often compared to a lion, make no mistake: A cowardly lion you are NOT! Leo’s are talkative dreamers who know how to kick back and relax. When you’re unhappy, you tend to sink into a slump, and you become grumpy and monotonous. Make sure to always switch up your routine to avoid falling into this trap.

  Do something out of the ordinary in either January or July/August of 2015. Don’t be afraid. The risk will be worth the reward. SHARE this post or you’ll be broke by 2020.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22)

  Chance should be your middle name. You’re dominant in relationships, but you’re also personable and patient. However, once a Virgo is crossed…that’s it. Done for life. Forgiving is hard for you, and forgetting is even harder, but that’s not to say you can’t change your mind about a person, place, or thing. You love feeling needed (who doesn’t) but sometimes all that people-pleasing can get in the way of your own desires.

  2015 is the year that you will become someone’s one and only. Keep your chin up through May for huge rewards in June!  SHARE this post or 2 years of tumultuous luck.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22)

  To keep a Libra around, you better be genuine with your feelings. Creative Libras have no time for faux friendships, and even less for “lame” relationships. Generally speaking, Libras are torn between doing the right thing, and the thing that makes them happy. Libras are the kindest and most compassionate people you will ever meet… But make no mistake: You are NOT to be messed with. That’s why your sign is the kindest warrior on the astrological chart. All things fair and balanced.

  Refuse to compromise your values through February. Yes, Libra, we’re talking about THAT ONE THING. SHARE this post or a decade of bad luck.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21)

  …And everything else that gives you the warm and fuzzies! Notoriously the last person to leave the party, the Scorpio has a tendency to get herself in over her head. Extravagance is fine, overindulgence is another thing. Scorpio’s have a tendency to fixate. Don’t let lust or money run your life.

  Beware of false promises in late January, but be ready for blissful surprises by the middle of February! SHARE this post or 7 years of bad luck.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21)

  Sexy, silly, and unbelievably passionate, Sags do well in long-term relationships because they’re so high-energy. Left to their own devices… Not so much. With that having been said, most Sags are very private people. A precious few get into the inner circle, and the rest are kept far from a Sag’s heart.

  Open up your “inner circle” in late March. You won’t regret it. SHARE this, or 6 years of bad luck.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19)

  If you’re a Capricorn, you’ve probably been criticized for being too dang smart for your own good. But that’s okay. Your grouchiness is far eclipsed by your passion for laughter and your love of all things sensual. When a Capricorn finds an occupation that meets their core interests, they thrive. When you work on something that you’re not interested in, it’s a VERY different story. Yikes!!

  Seek an escape from the mundane in April. A day trip at some point during the Spring will lead to a project that will ignite your passion for the next decade…or more. SHARE this, or 4 years of dismal luck.

The signs when they realise they’re talking to a fuckboy

Aries: i want him to turn on his location so we can fight PHYSICAL
Taurus: @god why do u keep doing this to me
Gemini: *turns off their phone and stares into the distance* not again
Cancer: he was ugly anyways
Leo: lol he dont even have a top lip tho… Bye
Virgo: *wipes every trace of them ever from their phone* good riddance
Libra: what a fuckboy *screenshots to show friends later*
Scorpio: i fucking KNEW it what a shady ass…..
Sagittarius:i cant wait to drag his ass publicly
Capricorn: i didnt like him anyways
Aquarius: why do boys choose this path ? Why do they end up like this…
Pisces: oh God. I never thought i’d see one in real life

nes-chick:

official-kye:

AQUARIUS – Does It in the Water (January 20 to February 18)
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they’re not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more than their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.

PISCES – The Partner for Life (February 19 to March 20) 
Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the center of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humor!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to others but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be. 5 years of bad luck if you do not share this post. 

ARIES – The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny… Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be ‘Right’. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world. 16 years of bad luck if you do not share this post. 

TAURUS – The Tramp (April 20 to May 20) 
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.

GEMINI – The Twin (May 21 to June 20) 
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosy. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.

CANCER – The Beauty (June 21 to July 22) 
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer’s love is one of a kind… Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative person, most are artists and insane, respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An ultimate freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most Cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a fighter, but will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to! 12 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.

LEO – The Lion (July 23 to August 22) 
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo’s problem becomes everyone’s problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.

VIRGO – The One that Waits (August 23 to September 22) 
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.

LIBRA – The Lame One (September 23 to October 22) 
Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with… you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic. 9 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.

SCORPIO – The Addict (October 23 to November 21) 
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad
Luck if you do not share this post.

SAGITTARIUS – The Promiscuous One (November 22 to December 21)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.

CAPRICORN – The Passionate Lover (December 22 to January 19) 
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy, but when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs in sports, especially Gemini’s. Likes to cook but would rather go out
To eat at good restaurants. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.

Yer that’s me to a T haha happy to be a Capricorn woo

Source: official-kye

the bad qualities of the signs

punkqhost:

Aries: two-faced and impulsive
Taurus: emotionally unstable attention whore 
Gemini: fake and indecisive 
Cancer: overly sensitive and moody
Leo: vain and pretentious 
Virgo: cold and paranoid
Libra: narcissistic and insecure asshole
Scorpio: jealous and obsessive
Sagittarius: manipulative bitch with a god complex
Capricorn: conceited and unoriginal
Aquarius: dependent and boring
Pisces: lazy and self-pitying fuckboy