The Signs as Unexplained Feelings

Aries: Rubatosis- The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.
Taurus: Altschmerz- The weariness from the same old issue you’ve always had.
Gemini: Adronitis- The frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.
Cancer: Kuebiko- The state of exhaustion inspired by senseless acts of violence.
Leo: Kenopsia- An eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but now is abandoned and quiet.
Virgo: Ellipism- The sadness from never knowing your destiny.
Libra: Occhiolism- The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.
Scorpio: Exluanis- The tendency to give up talking about an experience because others are unable to relate to it.
Sagittarius: Onism- The frustration of being stuck in one body that inhabits only one place at a time.
Capricorn: Lacheism- The desire to be struck by disaster.
Aquarius: Nodus Tollens- The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.
Pisces: Mauerbauertraurigkeit- The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends and family.

The Signs As Songs off of Melodrama

venuspapi:

Melodrama by Lorde (Scorpio Sun, Virgo Moon, Capricorn Rising)

Aries: Supercut
I’m someone you maybe might love
I’ll be your quiet afternoon crush
Be your violent overnight rush
Make you crazy over my touch

But it’s just a supercut of us

Taurus: Writer In The Dark 
I am my mother’s child, I’ll love you ‘til my breathing stops 
I’ll love you ‘til you call the cops on me 
But in our darkest hours, I stumbled on a secret power 
I’ll find a way to be without you, babe 

Gemini: Homemade Dynamite
A couple rebel top gun pilots
Flying with nowhere to be
Don’t know you super well
But I think that you might be the same as me
Behave abnormally

Let’s let things come out of the woodwork
I’ll give you my best side, tell you all my best lies
Yeah, awesome right?

Cancer: Hard Feelings 
These are what they call hard feelings of love 
When the sweet words and fevers all leave us right here in the cold 
Alone with the hard feelings of love 
God I wish I believed ya when you told me this was my home 

Leo: The Louvre 
Our thing progresses 
I call and you come through 
Blow all my friendships 
To sit in hell with you 
But we’re the greatest 
They’ll hang us in the Louvre 
Down the back, but who cares—still the Louvre 

Virgo: Liability 
So I guess I’ll go home into the arms of the girl that I love
The only love I haven’t screwed up
She’s so hard to please but she’s a forest fire
I do my best to meet her demands, play at romance
We slow dance in the living room, but all that a stranger would see
Is one girl swaying alone, stroking her cheek

Libra: Sober II (Melodrama) 
Know you won’t remember in the morning when 
I speak my mind 
Lights are on and they’ve gone home, but who am I? 
Oh, how fast the evening passes, cleaning up 
The champagne glasses 

We told you this was melodrama 

Scorpio: Green Light 
Well those rumors, they have big teeth 
Hope they bite you 
Thought you said that you would always be in love 
But you’re not in love no more 
Did it frighten you 
How we kissed when we danced on the light up floor? 

Sagittarius: Perfect Places 
Are you lost enough? 
Have another drink, get lost in us 
This is how we get notorious, oh 
‘Cause I don’t know 
If they keep tellin’ me where to go 
I’ll blow my brains out to the radio, oh 

Capricorn: Liability (Reprise) 
All of the dreams that get harder 
All of the things that I offer you 
And all of the shit that we harbor 
Make all of the kids in the choirs sing woo-hoo
Maybe all this is the party

Aquarius: Loveless 
Bet you wanna rip my heart out 
Bet you wanna skip my calls now 
Well guess what? I like that 
‘Cause I’m gonna mess your life up 
Gonna wanna tape my mouth shut 
Look out, lovers 

We’re L.O.V.E.L.E.S.S 
Generation 

Pisces: Sober 
Ain’t a pill that could touch our rush 
But what will we do when we’re sober? 
When you dream with a fever 
Bet you wish you could touch our rush 
But what will we do when we’re sober? 

the worst people of the signs

astrolobitches:

  • ARIES: extremely & utterly self-centered, delusional to reality & others, completely obsessed with some selfish, goal, closed-minded & thinks they are the only one who is ever right, purposely mean to make themselves feel powerful, simplifies everything out of laziness, avoids anything that bothers them, doesn’t know the meaning of caution, dangerously impulsive from lack of grounding
  • TAURUS: obsessively combative, uses arguments & disagreements as pleasure, never satisfied with anything, picks apart people’s lives to find their faults & strategically uses it against them to cover their own insecurities, extremely bitter w/ life probably from past traumas, revengeful like no other, just wants to be loved but is brutal to anyone they let close enough in order to test their loyalty
  • GEMINI: fucks with people for enjoyment, scheming, sees how much they can get away with, can be sociopathic, completely untrustable, obsessed with gossip, sadism is a game to them, the worst can be extremely hostile & cannot accept ever being wrong or the word no, loud & argumentative, can easily become irate, ruthless, revengeful, unfaithful, wishy-washy about the simplest things
  • CANCER: lives in a closed-minded shell their entire lives, extremely sensitive & fragile but acts like a fucking asshole to everyone to give the false illusion of a hard exterior, obsessed with exterior opinions & uses them to fill their lack of self esteem, soaks in their misery, extremely judgmental of others but ignorant of their own faults and refuses to face themselves out of weakness
  • LEO: the ultimate egotist, lives their life as a fame game collecting friends, goals, compliments etc to feed their ever-increasing lust, their selfish behavior is unstoppable & will never end, everyone hates them but they don’t care bc there’s always more people to get them off, takes showing off to another dimension, hates their lack of contentment w/ life so they fill themselves with constant false senses of accomplishment
  • VIRGO: bitter and cold, nothing is ever good enough for them bc one flaw is enough to throw it/them away, the bad side of a perfectionist, sees the dark in everything, the ultimate pessimist bc they’ll never fix the world or themselves, obsessive like a mad scientist that’ll never find the secret key to his mystery, pushes everyone away until he only has himself left to scrutinize into oblivion
  • LIBRA: the dictionary definition of volatility, the littlest thing will make them think the world is falling apart, can lose themselves very easily, everything has to go their way or they’ll throw a temper tantrum, acts like a spoiled preteen girl, serious self-esteem issues bc they know how fragile they are, runs away from commitment or clings to people for dear life, will worry about something they couldn’t fix for years
  • SCORPIO: the ultimate self-destructor, the worst will also destroy everything around them in the process, drowns in self pity & the emotions of their past, toys with suicide, thinks they’re better than absolutely everyone, locks themselves away from the world entirely, avoids human contact, can be obsessed with psychic magic & the illusion of dark evil only for the selfish power, thinks everyone is out to get them, the epitome of paranoia
  • SAGITTARIUS: flight-risk like no other, completely unloyal & lacks the slightest bit of empathy, reckless to the point of fatal catastrophe -no exaggeration, blunt and cold, hurts others while running away from their own problems, carelessly spends money looking for their next adventure, always dangerously looking for freedom but can never seem to find it, a trainwreck to everything in their path, many of these die young from careless behavior
  • CAPRICORN: dull & ignorant, obsessed with some kind of mundane thing like money, material acquisition, success, or physical achievement like fitness, rugged & inflexible on the outside to hide major inner insecurities, pushes themselves to the ultimate limit to try to be content inside, ego complex, uses people viciously to achieve their goals, extremely stubborn, can be violent and aggressive toward loved ones from psychological trauma
  • AQUARIUS: ice cold sociopaths, their entire sense of self-worth comes from other people’s opinions, nice to everyone but cares for no one, uses their loved ones to literally climb their backs to success, followers, blends into social stigmas & stereotypes to avoid being disliked, breaks at the slightest negative criticism, will act like nothing’s wrong as someone’s bleeding all over them, completely lacks warmth & humanity but acts like it’s their greatest traits
  • PISCES: extremely fragile, can break from being looked at wrong, avoids people to avoid disagreement & discomfort but constantly needs attention & affection, clingy & needy, complains about everything, passive aggressively rude even to loved ones to get out bottled emotions, cry babies, suicidal guilt trippers & guilt trippers in general, acts like the victim of everything to make you pity them, can’t handle normal human interactions or tasks, major anxiety, delusional about reality they can’t face

Reasons why your sign sucks

grubby–garbage-queen:

Aries: over competitive, self centered
Taurus: the best sign, does not suck at all
Gemini: afraid of commitment, doesn’t know when to be serious
Cancer: manipulative and moody
Leo: attention whores
Virgo: judgey and super boring
Libra: literally will never shut up
Scorpio: rude af
Sagittarius: in your face and over the top
Capricorn: they are actually pretty cool
Aquarius: shady And emotionally dead (watch out for these fuckers)
Pisces: cry babies

The Signs as Lana Del Rey lyrics – long version & astrological explanation

Aries: Maybe I like this roller coaster, maybe it keeps me high, maybe the speed it brings me closer, I could sparkle up your eye // Movement, speed, the thrill of the rush
Taurus: He likes to watch me in the glass room, bathroom, Chateau Marmont, slipping on my red dress, putting on my makeup. Glass film, perfume, cognac, lilac fumes: he says it feels like heaven to him // Appealing to the senses, romantic subtleties, the finest things in life
Gemini: I drive fast, wind in my hair, I push you to the limits ’cause I just don’t care, you ask me where I been? I’ve been everywhere, now I don’t wanna be nowhere but here // Dynamism, challenging personality, charismatic experiences
Cancer: In the land of Gods and Monsters, I was an Angel living in the garden of evil, screwed up, scared, doing anything that I needed, shining like a fiery beacon // “The Outsider” trying to fit in, doing their best
Leo: The power of youth is on my mind: sunsets, small town, I’m out of time. Will you still love me when I shine from words but not from beauty? // The need to love and be loved intensely & completely
Virgo: Lost but now I am found, I can see that once I was blind, I was so confused as a little child, tried to take what I could get, scared that I couldn’t find all the answers // The desperate need to know and control everything
Libra: I got my red dress on tonight, dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight. Done my hair up real big beauty queen style, high heels off, I’m feeling alive // Just enjoying the moment, princess-style, alluring and dazzling
Scorpio: I’m feeling electric tonight: cruising down the coast going ’bout 99. Got my bad baby by my heavenly side, I know if I go, I’ll die happy tonight // Feeling powerful, defying the law, the acceptance of death as something natural and the power of love
Sagittarius: I know that I’m a mess with my long hair and my sun tan, short dress, bare feet, I don’t care what they say about me // “I woke up like this” and being blunt about it
Capricorn: He said to “be cool” but I’m already coolest, I said to “get real, don’t you know who you’re dealing with? Um, do you think you’ll buy me lots of diamonds?” // Self-assured attitude, love for luxury
Aquarius: We had nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore, except to make our lives into a work of art // Love for freedom and art, the need to make a change, create something meaningful
Pisces: I was always an unusual girl, my mother told me I had a chameleon soul, no moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality… Just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean // Adaptability, ever changing personality, emotional connection with the sea