
i’m drowning don’t save me

I think you’ll find a girl who exhales answers instead of a never-ending stream of questions, one whose hands aren’t always ink-stained, one whose heart doesn’t live in her throat, one whose demons are small enough to be tucked into the back of her closet, sealed in a box, only let out once or twice a year when she’s drunk off of cheap wine, a girl who doesn’t feel like her head is going to explode every day, who doesn’t dream about the kitchen knives. You’ll find a girl who doesn’t write poems for you, but that’s okay because she smiles all the time and there is always light in her eyes, never a thunderstorm.
I will try not to blame you when you find this girl because now that I know what a horrible place my own mind is, I could never ask someone else to want to stay there too.



sorry I wrote our breakup poem before our four months / before I ever met your father or / before you met my cousin / sorry I’ve been planning this funeral for weeks and / you didn’t make it to the guest list / sorry every time you kiss me it tastes like ashes / sorry I’m always burning us down / sorry I can’t forgive you for making me your / fifth priority / sorry I made you / my first priority / i think about losing you and / it hurts but / oh my god / I’ve missed that ache.
me: hoe don’t do it
me: *lets all of my happiness depend completely on someone i know i’ll eventually lose*
me: oh my god