zanemalicks:

when rihanna said “got your wife in the backseat of my brand new foreign car” i thot she meant the dude’s wife willingly left him for rihanna. i didnt think she meant she kidnapped her and stripped her and tied her up and held her hostage to get her money

dorkstrider:

do i even have a sexuality at this point or is it literally just “oh yes i’d kiss you”

me: I respect you
bumble bee: Merci

notpetewentz:

im not even in the one direction fandom but i follow all the scandals like a suburban wine mom asking her teenage daughter about the high school drama

clarantino:

Me: pulp fiction is so overrated y’all got no taste
Me: *sipping a $5 shake* the only one who could ever reach me *lights cigarette* was the son of a preacher man.

crimesolving:

how do u delete feelings im asking for a friend

animatedtext:

destroy the idea that i will ever calm down