personal – Page 7 – darknesstohislight

I love my boyfriend but the problem is half of the time he acts like we’re super serious or like we’re an old married couple, he’ll want to spend all his time with me and constantly give me reassurance and validation and then when I finally get comfortable with that, something will change and he will suddenly need more space and complain how he can’t go out or hang out with his friends because he needs to spend time with me (not that i ever stop him) and how I’m really needy and its just like….. ? And then obviously I start feeling upset and insecure and my abandonment issues and anxiety start kicking in which is always fun and just make it worse. I don’t even think he’s doing that on purpose though, I think it literally depends on his mood, but this shift happens once a month or so and just makes us argue and be unhappy, and honestly….. I just need some consistency

me: i feel so shit and i don’t know why

also me: *doesn’t eat for the whole day, sleeps until 3 pm, doesn’t go outside*

i’ve been with my boyfriend now for 8 months and ive known him for over a year and a half but i still get nervous before i see him every time after i’ve not seen him for a couple of days

i’ve been eating adequately the past two days and i feel proud of myself 🙂

i consider myself to be a good girlfriend but apparently i dont even get a text back in the whole day

k but how do people manage to eat normal amounts of food regularly????

i’ve gotten to a point where i literally dont care anymore about my “friends” or anything they have to say

literally 90% of my friends are acting as if im some object they can just limitlessly make fun of

i know its partly my fault because i always joke about myself and stupid decisions i make (its not like they are mainly a consequence of my anxiety and poor mental health OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT) but they literally cross the line every time im in a group of my friends im in the centre of attention but all they do is make mean jokes about me and im supposed to just not be affected by it

i’ve not seen my boyfriend for 2 days and a half after spending almost the entire week with him and i already miss him so much i’m actually disappointed with myself

its kinda annoying how every time a guy flirts with me my bf gets angry about it even though i always reject every one right away but when there’s girls flirting with him he’s always like “oh she’s just being friendly”