personal – Page 6 – darknesstohislight

i look so weird wearing skirts bc ive got no hips i want to cry 😦

my bf is just telling me how he had a dream in which he was talking to some random cute bubbly girl and had a fight with some other guy for her …why do i need to know this again?

i was supposed to hang out with my bf today after 3 days of not seeing him but then he made plans with his friend instead and just invited me to get food with them so i wouldn’t be ‘too disappointed about not seeing him’ and its just shit i’d rather not see him at all than awkwardly third wheel him and his friend and its not really a big deal but ive just been in a shit mood and all my friends have already gone home from uni so i was looking forward to hanging out with someone i like and now i’m just gonna spend the rest of the day alone in my bed

i have not moved from my bed this entire day

i wish i had self discipline to be a vegetarian but i barely eat enough as it is

i hate myself every time i eat microwaved ready made food (which is every day)

my bf is great but he can also be such an insensitive asshole sometimes like i dont think he does it on purpose but damn

it’s been 3 months since i got back together with my boyfriend and i’ve literally never been this happy in my entire life, we had like one big argument since and i just keep thinking how thankful i am that i gave our relationship another chance even though i was so sure i was making a mistake, but it turned out to be the right choice and i would’ve missed so many good things and happiness if i hadn’t got back with him

one of my problems with abandonment issues is that sometimes i can’t tell if it’s my anxiety acting out that makes me feel like shit or my bf actually being a dick

im reading through my old messages with people and my old tweets and idk i used to have this whole fun personality even tho ive always been a sad little shit but i feel like there was….idk so much more to me than there is now?? like the past 8 months all i ever do is hang out with my bf or sleep & be depressed and idk how to explain it… my bf changed me for the better in so many ways but at the same time i feel like being in a relationship took away so many aspects of my personality just because i don’t take time for myself and my main focus is my relationship