Tag: personal

so im getting ready to go out and i’m wearing this kinda short skirt and my mum was like “it’s none of my business what you wear, but you shouldn’t wear this skirt because it sends the wrong kind of message to men and they might misunderstand that you want to sleep with them”

shut up mum just shut up

It’s my 19th birthday this week and since I was feeling pretty shit lately, I said I’m not going to have a party or anything this year, but that I just want to see my best friend and maybe few other close friends and go out, just to chill a little. A lot of my friends said no though, because they are not here this weekend/whatever/whatever, but I didn’t really care because the main point for me was to be with my best friend and we arranged to go out for my birthday already MONTHS ago. 

And then, I checked with her if the plan is still on, just in case, and all she said was “Oh I’m sorry I can’t do it tomorrow.” And it’s just like what the fuck, it’s my fucking birthday and that was literally the ONLY thing I was looking forward to it and actually really wanted. Just to go chill out for a little and ughhhhgghhh, I’m so fucking pissed. And what pisses me off even more that in our friendship, like I can never actually get pissed with her, idk it just seems really weird to me, so all I can do is just show her that I’m not very happy and kind of disappointed, whereas if the roles were reverse she would probably hunt me down and idk murder me -_-

ANDD ughhhghh I was just really really looking foward to this and had really shit time lately but that kind of kept me up & I didn’t really see her much lately and ughhghhhg my birthday is going to suck now & it’s supposed to be my day & I’m supposed to enjoy it & now I guess I’ll just spend the night on tumblr, feeling sorry for myself, I’m so angry -____-

so i have almost 90% decided to take a gap year next year, and tbh i don’t really know why, partly because i’m scared of leaving, partly because i don’t think my grades will be good enough, but mostly because i just feel like it??? tbh i really don’t know what’s the real reason behind it. 

but it just kind of sucks because ALL of my friends are going to university, most of them to another country since i go to international school  and idk it just kind of sucks because i have no idea what i’m going to do next year and i’m afraid i’ll be all lonely and idk

but then it’s not like i stress about it enough already on my own (and i stress about it constantly, whether it was the right decision etc.), no also EVERYONE around me keeps convincing me to go to university next year and being like “but what are you going to do here?” “so are you just like going to work in a bar for the entire year?” “don’t you want to leave this shitty town?” “cmon you should go and we’ll both be uni students together” “don’t waste a year" etc etc. and its just like fuck you for making me even more anxious and unsure, it’s not like i don’t worry about it enough already -_____-