Tag: personal

so since i found out that i by some miracle got accepted to university, i’ve went through different stages of first being really shocked, then kind of happy, then really not wanting to go and then crying my eyes out and having an actual panic attack

the problem is that i never really thought i would get accepted so i didn’t really think about it for real? for example, i applied to psychology and i don’t even really want to do psychology? i mean all this time i was more or less focused on the idea of the gap year and tbh in a way i made plans and started to kind of looking forward to it

at this point i’m mostly really confused about what i want – in a way i really really don’t want to go, but at the same time i want to a little? i just really can’t picture myself there or idk learning about something for the next 3 years that i don’t really want to do.

i would actually still love to take a gap year, but the problem is that i’m afraid that even if i retake my exams i won’t be able to get to a good university again? i mean based on my grades, i really did get lucky this time. and i know it would be really irrational and dumb to reject my place and stay in slovenia for another year, but i just.. idk… i don’t want to go?? 

so basically i really don’t know what to do and i’m freaking out and i don’t know how to deal with all this so idk.. what am i supposed to do??

i was out last night with my friend and somehow we ended up meeting my ex and his friend and even though we haven’t spoken for like 2 months now, we all stayed out together

and after that first awkwardness passed, me and my ex started talking and just ignored everyone else & everything around us and we were just talking for hours and it was so nice and just the way he was looking at me was idk incredible like for literally like 2 hours he didn’t pay any attention to anyone else but me and i knew that, if i wanted to, in that moment i could easily get back with him (at least for the night), but luckily i wasn’t able to just forget how he treated me and the hell he put me through, so i kept my distance and went home before anything could happen

but it just sucks because we know and get each other so amazingly well and if we didn’t have so fucked up history we could be so great together or maybe even just really good friends again.. but oh well thats life idk

in 4 days i find out whether i’m accepted to uni or not

at this point i don’t even care much anymore – in case i don’t get accepted i’m just going to take a gap year and retake my exams

the thing i find the scariest about the whole thing is actually that in case i don’t go to uni i will have to tell everyone i know that i didn’t get accepted and then deal with their awkward responses

the continuation of the grasshopper adventure: since the only other person at home is my grandma i went to wake her up screaming and she hit the grasshopper with a magazine and it fell behind the bed & we couldnt find it so she gave up and now im convincing myself that it died lets hope so

what a horrible person i am waking up a 77 year old women in the middle of the night to kill an insect for me but i swear that thing was giant so i guess thank god for my fearless grandma 👍👍👍

i once made out with this guy when i was drunk and after that he asked me out so many times and just wouldn’t take no for an answer

so now it seems that he finally got the point that i won’t go out with him, so he decided that he should just go around telling everyone how i’m a ‘horrible kisser’

maturity level +10000000