Tag: personal

so yesterday i met with only few friends to go out with for the last time before i leave and even though i promised myself i wouldn’t i also called up my ex to see me (actually i’m pretty sure at this point ‘ex’ is not the right thing to call him, but it’s like how do you refer to a person with whom you’re in a continuous on-and-off thing for over a year? so let’s just stick to ex)

he was actually really excited when i called him and he promised me he’d come and tbh i only more or less invited other people as an excuse so i can see him so i was really happy and he was like “can’t wait to see you”

but then guess who didn’t show up in the end? -.- and firstly he actually just called another friend that he can’t come (i didn’t even bother asking why) and i was pretty annoyed but it’s not like it was completely unexpected from him to ditch in the last moment

and then he actually called me and he was apologising like crazy, but still without any real reason why he didn’t come and he was like “but i was so happy you called and it means so much to me that you wanted to see me" and blabla cheesy bullshit… like seriously? if it meant so much to him that i called him he might have as well showed up? -.- 

and then i also had to promise him that he will see me when i come back to visit and december, yeah right i just can’t wait to be rejected and disappointed again.

so that’s it now and it’s basically over between us for real now, which i guess is a good thing? so no more dumb personal text posts about him at least until december when i come back and shit goes down again

so as i mentioned in some of my previous personal posts i have this guy friend with whom ive had many problems in the past and we always fight over the stupidest stuff but we are best friends and also spend all the time we can together and we’ve been through so much in the past 2 years since we’re friends and we’ve always been there for each other for some pretty bad stuff no matter what

and literaly about 1 month ago he started hanging out with some girl he just met and she’s actually really fun i like her as well, but he’s just kind of been neglecting our friendship for her and i didnt even care, although i did sometimes feel a bit replaced but it was always like naaah we’ve been through so much our friendships can’t even compare its dumb to be jealous

and right now we were talking and i was helping him with something and i was jokingly saying like “you should be lucky you have me i’m like your best friend ever” and he was like “yes you are! right after [her name], but youre cool”

and idk that just hit me really hard

so i know i was complaining about not going out on my last friday in slovenia but in the end i did go out and it was pretty weird and here is a (slightly drunk) summary of my night just because i feel like writing it down

– so the person who actually invited me out in the end was my ex’s best friend with whom i used to be pretty close but still he’s my ex’s best friend… it was kind of unexpected. anyway it was super messed up because the entire time he kept telling me that my ex is going to super regret it one day that he fucked up his chances with me and that i’m the best thing that ever really happened to him and fucked up stuff like that and i literally told him i dont want to talk about my ex and he was like “but you should know he did love you deep inside even if he never really showed it to you and i think he still does” why are you telling me this i dont want to hear this im trying to move on ffs

– then i met a random group of people from my old school and went clubbing with them and we took a lot of pictures which was fun but also a lot of weird stuff happened:

– this random 16year old kid from my old school kept trying to convince me that he’s old enough for me to make out with and that its legal for us to hook up ew no thanks dude

-my random ex-classmate got drunk and he decided to tell me all of his concerns about his girlfriend with all the details about their relationship and it was just kind of awkward bc i had never really spoken to him before

-another one of my ex-classmates kept thinking that im trying to flirt with him which was completely not the case but he kept like blowing me off and it was just sooo weird like im just trying to be friendly dude thats not the same as flirting

-my friend that i havent seen or spoken to for months randomly texted me at 1 am “im never forgiving you for this, fuck you bitch” … ok whatever i have no idea what thats supposed to be about

-when everything got too weird i just decided to go home and then on the way home i OF COURSE literally pretty much bumped into my ex…typical. anyway i was just trying to be normal and asked him who he’s with and he just said with two girls (typical) and he introduced them to me (and they were both really hot x< ) and i literally just started laughing and left without even saying anything… but despite all that he seemed happy to see me how am i supposed to ever get over him ffs

– also i feel super sick

im such a jealous person omg its so annoying like today it’s my best friend’s birthday and he recently also became really good friends with this other girl (thats actually really awesome and i have nothing against her) but i always get so jealous when they hang out and i start like obsessing what if she’s replacing me, and so for his birthday she wrote him a really sweet message with like a collage of their pictures and its all really nice but im like freaking out and im so annoyed with myself omg

ok so i’m moving to england in less than 2 weeks and one of my best friends is going on holiday tomorrow so i’m not going to see her before i leave. so we made a plan to meet today and do a bunch of fun stuff and say goodbye and then she just texted me an hour before we were supposed to meet just “im feeling kind of lazy and i have a headache so i won’t come out, im sorry" and its just like are you fucking serious? -.-

she does that (meaning ditching in the last minute because she’s feeling lazy) all the time so im kind of used to it, but this time she won’t see me until january when i come back for holiday and she couldn’t even be bothered to get out of her house to say bye to one of her best friends?? and what pisses me off even more is that she didnt even write an actual apology but just ‘i’m sorry’ or said goodbye in the text or said that she’ll miss me or anything at all, she could have at least pretended she cares -.-

idk maybe i’m overreacting but i wouldn’t have done that if my friend was moving to another country and it would be my last chance to see her -.-