Tag: personal

my flatmates keep bonding without me lately and they just kind of started (im sure that unintentionally but still) leaving me out of things and i don’t even care that much because they all tend to annoy me a little, but at the same time it just sucks a lot

i’m in a really bad mood because i’ve had a pretty bad freshers flu for a week now, which prevents me from doing anything fun and i also missed a bunch of lectures because of it so i have a ton of work to catch up on. also i kind of lost motivation to hang out with my flatmates and new friends here and tbh they all tend to kind of annoy me lately – idk they are all nice and all but i’m just feeling pretty antisocial and also my self-esteem rn is super low also bc i haven’t been to the gym in like 3 weeks which always makes me super insecure and not like how i look.

also because of not having fun here atm, i started missing home and all my old friends which just makes it worse and i’ve been feeling really nostalgic about my life back in slovenia which is something i don’t want to feel because honestly i was really unhappy for the past year and i’m finally getting a fresh start so why would i feel nostalgic about it? not to mention that it makes me miss people that i shouldn’t even think about (i think it’s pretty obvious who i mean by that) which just makes me even more sad and i just get annoyed with myself and idk i’ve just had a pretty shitty past few days

yesterday my flatmates dragged me to this really big party for which we had to pay £10 just to get in and the thing turned out to be completely shit and i was still kind of ill and i was pretty much suffering through out the entire thing and my friend had promised me that we will leave by 2am – well guess what we didn’t, and because i had been ill for the entire week this whole thing just made it worse and i lost my voice completely. and then when i finally convinced them to go home at like 3.15 am, they invited a bunch of random guys from our uni that we met at the party to out flat and i didn’t even mind that much but they were all really drunk and annoying, so i just went to sleep BUT STUPIDLY forgot my phone down in the kitchen..

and this morning i woke up feeling completely shit and pretty ill again (and still without my voice obv) and i went to the kitchen to find my phone and it’s not there and it’s not anywhere and im freaking out

not to mention that our kitchen is a complete mess so much that it’s disgusting and i’m just really annoyed

so i was getting kind of annoyed because all my flatmates and friends here at uni already have like love interests and crushes and i literally hadn’t met one guy that would’ve caught my attention

and then today i finally met this really cool guy and we talked and he was pretty obviously trying to flirt with me and he said we should hang out some time and turns out we’re both studying psychology and he said he’s looking forward to seeing me in the lectures..

and then i found out that he’s actually russian, but he lived in england most of his life and the thing is my ex is also russian and i am just slightly annoyed by this coincidence and my friend is already bullying me about it

so im usually the one who’s always up for drinking but for the past few days since i’m at uni i don’t feel like it at all? and idk everyones drinking bc its freshers week but i’d much rather just stay in the room and right now my flatmates convinced me to come downstairs and hang out with everyone and there was like 15 people and i literally just stayed 5minutes and went back to clean my room i dont get myself 

i feel kind of guilty tho bc i feel like i should be partying and making new friends but idk i’d rather not