Tag: personal

i fucking hate my course and everything about it, seriously there’s only like 10% of it that is actually like.. interesting and that i enjoy about it and all other parts are just so full of statistics and im just super struggling with them and then i remember i don’t really want to do anything with psychology after uni anyway so whats even the point. luckily i already discussed with my parents that i will probably change my course next year but its just so frustrating that i still have to struggle with it for a year when i seriously hate everything about it

so on friday i hooked up with this guy that i was secretly interested from the start of uni and he lives in the flat next to mine 

and it didnt really mean anything but it was fun and i was happy about it for the entire weekend, but now it seems that thats all mine and his flatmates talk about (since we all know each other) and they are like laughing about it and idk

im starting to feel kind of embarrassed about it and it feels crappy because i was actually excited about the whole thing

(also i was kind of planning to do it again and now idk it sucks how everyone knows us and is just so involved in the whole thing)

so basically my girl flatmates have decided to completely exclude me from everything they do and i first thought that it was unintentional but it has gotten to the point where i literally just asked them what they are doing tonight and they said they were going to sleep when in reality they waited for me to go to my room so they could get ready and go out

not to mention that i started getting cut out of the group pictures we’ve taken together – thats how obvious they are being about it

and while i don’t particularly care because i have other friends e.g. from my course it’s kind of annoying because i have to live with them and i just feel super left out all the time, not to mention that my main problem with it is how they still pretend that they really like me and want to hang out with me but then they always find a way not to??? and its like, do you really think i am that stupid?

so right now i am very torn between just hiding in my room and keeping to myself and standing up for myself. at the same time i really really don’t want to be a drama queen and start drama, but also i hate being treated like an idiot

and i have never been anything but really nice & friendly to them

guys guys guys
so that guy that i mentioned yesterday, today he waited for me to finish my lectures just to talk to me and then he walked me home and then he said he really hopes that he will get to spend more time with me and it was really sweet
what do i do do i flirt do i not flirt i dont even know if i likeeee him (but maybe i do. or not. idkkkk)

i have so much statistics homework to hand in tomorrow and i haven’t even started it yet and since i really suck at statistics & really don’t want to do it i will just procrastinate with it probably until something like 4am and then die from sleep deprivation