Tag: personal

so my friend made a group chat on facebook yesterday inviting my old group of friends to go out tonight and it was just like “join any time” and since this old group of friends includes people like my horrible ex and some other people i try to avoid or don’t talk to anymore i didn’t plan on going and i didn’t even plan on responding tbh, because i was like what’s the point but now i decided to just write a nice message that i hope they have fun and all and then this random guy who’s also in the group chat started getting pissed off with me like how ‘i have no courtesy and how it’s really rude to cancel the last minute’ and stuff and im just really annoyed like theres going to be about 10 people, including my ex and his friends that don’t even like me, I DOUBT ANYONE REALLY MINDS ME CANCELLING THE LAST MINUTE

yesterday i basically had the worst day in months and being back home from uni doesn’t seem to be very good for me. anyway even though yesterday felt like going back for months in terms of my progress and feeling better, idk i guess i just have to try to stay positive and avoid all these people that make me feel bad or remind me of bad memories (which is pretty much all my old friends here so great). so today i purposely avoided going on and was planning to go to the gym, but i ended up not going even though that would probably be the best thing for me right now. but oh well tomorrow i guess.

also love life update: you know that crush that i mentioned that said he really liked me? well let’s just forget that i ever mentioned him. boys lie and they fucking suck. so whatever.

GUYS GUYS GUYS

yesterday i FINALLY ran into my crush again when i was out and basically we just started kissing the moment we saw each other and then we went home together (he lives in the flat next to mine) and he said he can’t stop thinking about me for the past month and that he has a major crush on me, but that he was terrified of talking to me because he thought i might have just been drunk that first time when we hooked up and i told him i liked him a little too (and no he didnt just say that to get laid, he knew he would even if he didnt say all that) :DD and then we slept together and it wasn’t even that good, but he was so sweet like he checked a bunch of times if i was really sober before doing it and just idk the whole night was so nice. and this morning when we woke up he just kept staring at me and repeated like a bunch of times that he actually meant that he really likes me and that it wasn’t just alcohol speaking

I’M ACTUALLY MY CRUSH’S CRUSH?? HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN?

ok so it’s been a week since i made out with this guy and i still have no idea what’s going on or where do i stand with him and he’s acting awkward and i’m acting awkward and it’s all just very frustrating. i just need to know what the situation is so that i can see whether i should hang around or just forget about the whole thing and we didn’t even have like a normal conversation since and ugh i am just not happy with the whole thing.

(because i mean neither of us was very drunk so we both knew what we were doing and he flirted with me before already so it wasn’t just a drunk mistake? at least i thought so? im so confused -.- )

THIS BOY THAT I LIKE IS NOW IN OUR KITCHEN WATCHING A MOVIE WITH MY FLATMATES

and i walked in there not knowing in my pyjamas and i feel so awkward i can’t even look at him so now i’m afraid he will start thinking i’m regretting kissing him and will start avoiding me too (or maybe he already is i can’t know because i can’t even make myself look his way)

this is so frustrating and i’m so dumb and ugh it’s like he’s so close yet so far away x<<

OK GUYS

im in the common laundry room studying and the guy i made out with on friday (and have a slight crush on) just walked in and its the first time i see him since friday and its awkward what do i do how do i act :___::: 

also im in my pyjamas without any make up and looking like shit thanks universe

Why did you choose psychology then if you hate it so much?

hi anon!

bc when i was like 14 i got this idea that i want to do psychology when im older and i was obsessing about it for years. also i had a good psychology teacher for my a-levels who made it fun and interesting. 

however, a year ago i started changing my mind that i would much rather do international relations at uni & that i don’t actually want to do anything with psychology later, but my parents and everyone were encouraging me to do psychology since i’ve been determined to study it for years and though that the whole interest in international relations is just a phase or something. also there was also always an argument that psychology is a useful degree on many fields so even i change my mind i can still do something else after uni. not to mention that i had my personal statement ready already and i was just kind of anxious about changing my mind about the course in the last minute. but tbh i  already started out uni not really being interested in psychology and hoping that i will change my mind – which i dont think was really the best start. 

i mean i do find psychology interesting and i still like it but it’s just not something that i want to dedicate all my time to. also there’s sooo much statistics and research methods and other non-fun/interesting stuff that i need to do with it and i just don’t think it’s worth it if i don’t really want to do it anyway.

also this year i took international relations as an optional module together with all the psychology stuff & i actually really like it and enjoy it and i’m also better at it because i’m more motivated to do it. so even if i have to retake the first year because i change my course, at least i will know it’s to something i enjoy studying. thinking back i wish i would just trust my instincts and not listen to others who told me to do psychology.

sorry this was probably a longer answer than you expected, but once i start i can’t stop haha