for the first time in my life, i am trying a relationship with someone that i like but more than that i admire that he respects me and treats me well, instead of with someone whom im madly in love with but is toxic and treats me like shit
and i have to say i feel calm and like it’s working out and i’ve never felt this calm and confident about any of my relationships before, instead i was always just paranoid, anxious and just waiting for things to go wrong
ok so basically i made this male friend at uni and since the start our relationship was kind of weird, meaning that we somehow really clicked and were kind of into each other and a few months ago we once kissed when i was drunk, but that was when i had a thing with my former crush still, so i turned him down not in the best way possible, so after that it was kind of awkward.
but now we decided to have a ‘fresh start’ and we get along so well that it’s crazy and it’s the most obvious thing that we have crushes on each other and he’s not really the most attractive guy but he makes me laugh so much and he has the best personality even though he sometimes purposely tries to be a jerk and we ‘argue’ all the time and like pretend that we’re fighting just so we get an excuse to touch each other so in the end we end up awkwardly holding hands or hugging and for some reason i’m so attracted to him it’s crazy, i don’t even know and also the sexual tension omg sometimes i need to literally hold back not to just make out with him because i told myself that since im not sure what i want, i mean it might just be because im lonely, i’ll just wait for him if he makes a move on me again and actually asks me out, but he makes me feel things like butterflies and cheesy stuff like that and i do not like that because the last thing i want is develop feelings for a boy right now. but idk it’s all really cute and i can’t help myself and ahh idk i just thought i would share this with you guys.
darknesstohislight 