i’m literally losing control over my life again. also i realized the better i get along with my boyfriend the worse i am because my anxiety just rises sky high when i’m actually happy with someone. and on friday i went out with my boyfriend and his friends and the moment i got some alcohol in my system i started freaking out but i kept trying to hide it and somehow that led to the point where i had a panic attack at 2am in the middle of the club and then broke down to my boyfriend about how i don’t want him to think that im insane and how he deserves a normal girlfriend. and obviously he doesnt understand and just ended up lecturing me how “i get too drunk” which didn’t really make me feel better. literally though, ive been so bad with taking care of my self and ive been so unhealthy like im literally failing at keeping it together and its scaring me.