yesterday was my last day of high school and in the evening some of my friends decided to go to my ex’s house and somehow i ended up going with them. anyway it was too weird for me to be there with him, so i went on the balcony alone and i cried a little and then he showed up and it was really awkward because it was obvious i cried and then he tried to talk to me about everything that happened between us and kept saying stuff like “ohhh i remember the last time you were here…” and he just kept trying to get me to say that i still loved him and i just got pissed that im not having this conversation again (bc it usually ends with us hooking up again, which i’m pretty sure is what he wanted) and it was soooo dumb the entire thing because despite him trying to make us okay, he couldn’t say anything that i needed to hear like that he’s sorry or that he misses me or loves me or anything THAT WOULD ACTUALLY MEAN SOMETHING, but he just kept trying to get that out of me even though he was the one who fucked it all up. because of that, i then didn’t try to make anything happen between us again (even though i wanted to in that moment bc i miss him like crazy) but anyway after we joined others again, we somehow just acted like everything was okay and it was so nice and we had so much fun, but it was also sad bc i knew that we could never be just like friends again and idk.. in a way it was a good closure because i saw he hasn’t changed and i didn’t give him another chance idk..but im also sad because i now won’t be seeing him much anymore and ughhghh i also just really wish things would have ended differently…